Desire 2016

The anticipation started building about 6 weeks before we were going. Having Rocket Chat to talk with other Swingsetters was incredible. We knew a few people from last year and were glad to get to know a few more online before November.

What changed since I was last at Desire?

1. I started leading a senior’s sexuality discussion group at a local community center.

2. My relationship with Doc deepened, as we did an anniversary trip to Victoria, BC in June to celebrate five years of our amazing life together.

3. I went to Woodhull’s Sexual Freedom conference in August.

Desire was a place where I could be my true self. Doc and I planned costumes for most of the themes but not much else. We were open to playing with others or just enjoying our time together for the week.

Friday November 4:

We left RDU on Friday morning with a very quick stopover in CLT. (Those airport call letters always make me giggle – seemed fitting for this trip.)

A note for next year’s Newbie Handbook:  a section on what to expect getting through Immigration and Customs at the airport in Cancun. This time it was pretty quick – 45 minutes – but last year took much longer.  And I was grabbed by the Red light, but knew what to expect this time. We were at the Marriott in time for a late lunch and a margarita.

We cuddled and napped then went downstairs to meet up with a few of the other Swingsetters including B and B who live near us.

Saturday November 5:

The shuttle picked us up fairly early so after being greeted with a glass of champagne and walking through the lobby doors, we were indeed ‘home again’ in time for breakfast: naked Swingset folks all around.

Then we spent several hours waiting in the courtyard for our room to be ready. I appointed myself Newbie Ambassador. Finding that clothes were too hot, I left them with Doc while escorting new and bewildered Swingsetters around Desire’s winding pathways to the Beach, Restaurants, Pool and Hot tub.

Sunday November 6:

This morning: wind blowing through palm trees, can’t really hear the ocean; blue-green water;  beach bar in front of our room; occasional sounds of laughter from folks on the beach beds. The beds are no longer on the beach as a storm washed away much of the sand up to the cement wall.

Speed Dating was run in the afternoon by the wonderful K and F.  We met up with old friends T and T from last year, but there were too many new people to remember them all. Again I found myself not wearing clothes, but it worked with our speed-dating question: “ Which is sexier? Naked or partially clothed?”

Monday: November 7:

Sex toy and kink toy, show and tell. Doc wasn’t interested in going so I dragged our bag of toys over to the disco. I volunteered to try out the Njoy11 later with C, showed off my favorite kink toy the Wartenburg wheel and modeled some nipple clamps. I had been wanting an Eroscillator for some time and M gave me hers! Wow! In return I gave her my Reddit t-shirt which she thought was adorable. (The Eroscillator now has a favored spot next to our bed.)

I then met up with Doc for a quick lunch before going back to the disco for a ride on a Sybian, wonderfully supplied by Swinger Doc. I had been wanting to ride this toy with Doc since way back at Catalyst Con East.

We needed a few pillows to make it comfortable for me to sit/kneel on the Sybian. (I had a total knee replacement 2 years ago.) I chose a small dildo attachment, but next time I think I would go for a larger one. Doc sat/knelt in front of me and handled the controls.

So intense: not only the physical sensations but the way that Doc and I connect. His eyes captured me and held me. He is my rock. He got off from watching me and listening to me as I came countless times. He reveled in my pleasure and pushed me further. Our friends T and T came behind me and pinched my nipples which sent me into deeper orgasms. When I had had enough and we stopped I yelled out “And I’m 68 years old”. Laughter.

Tuesday: November 8:

Our best costumes were for the Steampunk theme, so we decided to wear them to the Swingset group dinner.

I must say how delighted I am to be a part of this group. We are truly building a Tribe of sex positive, thoughtful, intelligent, geeky/nerdy people.

After supper as the election results started coming in we knew this was not going to be good. I went up to the women’s orgy with mixed feelings – stay and watch the news unfold or relax with sexy bodies. Doc and I sat in the hot tub for a while then I wandered over to the beds where the other women had gathered. Doc watched from afar and was happy to assist by getting toys, water and towels as needed.

I felt awkward in the group as I had not played with any of the other women there. My sexy times with women have always been one-on-one. Also, in my experience (twenty years ago) we never used strap-ons. Fingers, tongues and fists (and the occasional vibrator) were our main playthings.

Lying on one of the beds watching the other women and listening to their joyful cries in the next bed, brought me back to my time as a midwife: the sheer power of women’s energy is incredible.

I said that I wanted someone to use the Njoy 11 on me and K very willingly agreed. She is so very skilled in the use of that toy and brought me to a squirting orgasm almost immediately. It was such a deep heavy smooth feeling that filled my whole pelvis – a different kind of penetration than a penis.

There’s always something new to learn.

Wednesday: November 9:

It was dungeon night and the theme was Anything But Clothes so Doc dressed me in rope. He carefully arranged the ropes so my shoulders and ass were open for flogging.

This was again something I had been looking forward to since Catalyst Con East. I told JV that I wanted him to flog me and teach Doc how to do it properly. Doc used our small light flogger at first and then changed over to another heavier one as he got used to the technique. I have no idea how long I was there with my hands up against the cross, but I was so proud of my marks for many days afterward. Thank you to all of you who organized Wednesday night. It was one of the highlights of our trip.

Thursday: November 10:

In the early afternoon we sat in on Dylan’s Gentle Perverts podcast show, but left early to set up for my Squirting workshop.

Doc had started the day by edging me – bringing me close to orgasm but then telling me I couldn’t cum, so I was quite ready to play. Doc and I both relayed the info we knew about the anatomy and physiology of female ejaculation and talked about waterproof bed protectors. Then he started massaging my labia and clit while I kept talking. He finally had to tell me to shut up and just relax!

About a minute later, with his magic fingers, he was able to make me squirt several times in front of a group of about a dozen people. Then as K and F demonstrated how squirting works for them using the Njoy11,  Doc and I answered questions from the audience.

I loved doing this workshop and will certainly do it again next year. Thank you so much K and F for joining us!

After our workshop we stayed around for the fisting demo by Dr Liz. I haven’t been fisted in many years, as I feel like my perineum is going to tear. With lube and gloves and patience maybe this is something Doc and I can work on for the future.

We  dressed up for dinner at Suki, and I got pretty emotional sitting across from Doc and staring into his beautiful brown eyes. The twists and turns of the universe that brought us together are kind of incredible when we stop to think about it. To be at Desire, open and loving, with so many other kindred  spirits was amazing.

Friday: November 11

We dressed up in our biker gear in the evening showing everyone our real selves. (I don’t wear fishnets on the bike, but…)

Also the best-ever rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody happened in the courtyard on this last night at Desire.

We had been flirting for a few days with B and N, so Friday we all decided go for it and went back to their room where we played until 2:30am. We will need to include Vancouver Island in our next trip to BC.

Saturday: November 12:

After about 4 hours sleep we managed to get ourselves up and on the shuttle to the airport. So overwhelmed, but so happy. So many things checked off our bucket lists.

This trip brought us closer. We both had emotional ups and downs, but we talked about that and realized we weren’t always going to be on the same page.

We often ventured off in different directions. He would wind up making out at the Courtyard bar with someone while I would be over by the pool having lunch with someone else.

Rocket Chat has been invaluable to keep the conversations going. I’ve added several more people to my Twitter account also. Hopefully we’ll meet up with some of these folks before Desire 2017.


A Love Letter to Life on the Swingset

OMG, where to start. I had been listening to a variety of swinger podcasts starting in late 2013. In the spring of 2014 I spent about six weeks recovering from a total knee replacement. In my oxycodone induced haze, I decided to go back and start listening to all of Life On the Swingset’s podcasts from the very beginning.

And there you were: a group of people who were intelligent, funny and sexy. And you openly talked about non-monogamy. As I continued to listen I got to know all of you, and your quirks and mannerisms. Some episodes were serious, some were raucous, most set my brain to thinking in new ways. I imagined being in the room with you for bedcasts. I pictured Desire in my mind.

In the spring of 2015 I decided to go to Catalyst Con East, to finally meet up with some of the people who had been infiltrating my brain for the past few years. The atmosphere assured me that I had finally found my tribe. I came back from the conference and told Doc we needed to go to Desire in November.

(Doc and I were open right from the beginning. We had tried to act on it but hadn’t accomplished much – been to a few meet and greets and that was all. See some of the other posts and pages on this site.)


And Desire was the most incredible experience we had ever had. We grew apart, we grew together, all in the space of 7 days. We realized that this was the kind of world we had wanted back 45 years ago. It all made sense.

And you LOTS, brought it all together for us. And you continue to do that, even if you feel burnt out and overwhelmed at times. We love you and applaud what you do. It will change and grow, and change again. But the core message is always there. People are wonderful. Sex is wonderful. Combine them and truly amazing things happen. And we’ll be there to support you in whichever direction you go.

Local Swinging: Four

We saw a Meet ‘n Greet on SLS which happened every two weeks and finally Doc’s schedule worked so that we could go.

The website said, go to the left-hand side of the bar and ask for a cherry to put in your drink. We did and then tried to discern who in the room was part of the ‘cherries’ group. There were two groups having meals at long tables, but we weren’t sure about the cherries part on either table.

We went and stood at a high table and hoped someone would notice our awkwardness. Another couple came in and sat at a booth behind us. THEY noticed the cherries in our drinks and came over to say hello, but were also new to the group so were looking kind of awkward themselves.

Finally we approached a couple of people at one of the long tables and asked if they were ‘cherry’ people. They were so we spoke with them for a few minutes. They didn’t invite us to sit down. We went back to our perch at the high table.

Started looking around the room to see if we were attracted to anyone. I said maybe one woman with long blond hair at the end of the table looked okay to me, but Doc didn’t see anyone. “Are there any guys here who you would like to eat your pussy?” “No, not really.” I need to be attracted to more than physical. I listen to what comes out of someone’s mouth: they need to be fairly intelligent. Yes I’m picky.

So we had been standing there for 30 minutes and no one had come over to say hello. The group seemed very into each other but not at all welcoming. We are members of a motorcycle group and we always make sure to welcome new members and introduce them to everyone. I was starting to feel uncomfortable. Nobody had approached the other new couple either.

After about 45 minutes, a profusely sweating gentleman came over and introduced himself. I told him that I was upset that no one had approached us. He apologized and made some half-hearted excuses. I was not impressed and in my mind couldn’t help but compare this event to Catalyst which had been so welcoming to everyone.

I said that I had been to a sex positive conference two weeks ago in DC. Sweaty guy didn’t know what sex positive was. Sigh.

We left soon after. On the way home Doc and I talked about how/why we had always been so open about our bodies, our sexuality, non-monogamy, etc. We were both brought up in the culture of 1950s and 1960s America. Somehow all the negative crap about sex had slid right past us without sticking.

Will we go back to this event? We’ll probably try it one more time. Maybe we were reading it all wrong, but I’m not particularly hopeful.